Dunno What To Call It Yet
by KazumaGirl
Summary: Shounen-ai. SoraxRiku; Sora and Riku have returned to the Destiny Islands. Sora wants a relationship, but what will Riku think now that a new girl has intervened?


A/N: Well, here's my first. Not very good, I think. It starts out in Sora's POV, but it's ultimately in third-person.  
  
I vaguely registered the ocean around me, so deep were my thoughts. It was over. Riku was back, I was back, the island was the same. Tidus and Wakka had disappeared somewhere, but Selphie still hung around for the moment. So there was change. Not too much, since I had never been all that close to Wakka or Tidus, except for in competitive matters, but there was change nonetheless. The good thing was that Kairi and Riku were still there, would always be there.  
  
Hmph. I wish.  
  
Riku's time was being consumed by someone else now. Her name was Miyoko, and she was terribly anti-social. This causes her and Riku to spend hour after hour together. That bothers me. I'm not really sure why, because he and Kairi used to do that too. But then, I knew Kairi. For all I knew, Miyoko was bubbly and excited around Riku. All I knew was that she never spoke with anyone besides him, unless it was her own parents. Granted that she indeed had parents, since there were no new arrivals so far. She was probably just someone Riku had picked up from his search for the Destiny Islands, the way Donald and Goofy had been when I was searching for him and Kairi. But then, Donald and Goofy had gone back to the castle with King Mickey, and hadn't intervened in our lives since.  
  
I sighed, listening to my voice carrying on the breeze. I didn't want to be harsh, since Riku had his right to a girl, but still, what did he see in her?! What made her so much more important than Kairi and me, of such great import that he had to spend every waking moment with her?!  
  
"Sora?"  
  
That's right, Riku. Now you've come out here, since I haven't shown up for our promised duel. It'll be just like old times, eh? You'll ask what the matter is. I'll tell you. You'll apologize, and nothing will come of it anyway. My typical attempt at a change for the better.  
  
"I thought you'd be at the paopu tree."  
  
The paopu tree? I forgot. I was spending too much time with Kairi, I thought sarcastically. But I didn't say that. Instead, I began in what I hoped would leave more of an imprint. "I thought you would be, too."  
  
"Oh, ah...um..."  
  
First the embarrassment. Then the no less embarrassed apology. After spending almost all my life on the same island, I would think I know your patterns. I wonder if you've forgotten mine already.  
  
A sigh. "Sora, I'm sorry. I've been really ignoring you, haven't I?"  
  
'And you're just noticing this?' came the mental, brutal words. But I couldn't help noticing that he didn't also address Kairi. I didn't point it out.  
  
Riku continued. "I'm really sorry, Sora. It's just that Miyoko and I...have...something in common."  
  
"It's okay, Riku." I turned, still with that smile on my face. It was that smile I always used when I knew I wouldn't get what I wanted, no matter how hard I tried. Maybe I shouldn't have said anything in the first place. It wasn't like anything was going to change.  
  
"No, Sora. Stop using that smile. I know it's not genuine." Riku told me. I stopped smiling, not because he told me to, but because I was surprised. The smile was so similar to my usual that I thought no one could tell the difference. Riku took a step forward. "It's not okay. I can tell. I've been ignoring you completely, and I really regret it. Especially since we all just got back from some pretty stressful ordeals."  
  
I dropped my eyes. Stressful was not the word. Painful, agonizing, excruciating...take your pick. Riku would know; he'd gone through more of it than I had, being trapped by Ansem and going through who knows what while I looked for him. I said nothing. What was I supposed to say?  
  
"I can't change any of it. I can only try to be around you guys more in the future. We grew up together, after all." Riku's eyes, which had gone off to the side while he was speaking, returned to my face. "Can you forgive me?"  
  
I looked into those aquamarine orbs and felt my resolve melting. Almost against my will, my lips parted to tell him all was forgiven.  
  
"Riku?"  
  
My mouth snapped shut, as though released from a spring. I turned, my gaze shifting to a point where the sea met the shore. It was an unfamiliar voice, and I knew it had to be Miyoko's.  
  
Miyoko fell silent, and I knew it was because she had seen me. She must have this thing about speaking to people she doesn't know. It's a mystery how Riku got to her.  
  
Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Riku's look. There was a hint of defiance in his eyes. "Miyoko? You wanted me?" he replied. I recognized it. It was a challenge to get her to speak around others.  
  
There was a pause. "We need to talk." she told him quickly, and I knew she had used the pause to figure out how to say it in as few words as possible. She was also refraining from divulging anything to me. Why was the girl so incredibly paranoid?  
  
"Just a moment." Riku replied. I turned around. He wasn't being submissive or anything. Maybe he could stick around long enough to talk.  
  
"Excuse me?" Miyoko sounded incredulous, raising one of her dark eyebrows. Apparently he had never refused her before. Not a good sign.  
  
"I'm talking with Sora." Riku used a voice he might use when talking to a young child.  
  
Miyoko clicked her long fingernails together. "This is very important." Her violet eyes flashed from him to me, a doubtful glimmer appearing in them.  
  
Riku looked surprised, but hid it well. "It can wait."  
  
Miyoko was enraged. "Riku! Do you have any idea-!"  
  
"Miyoko!" Riku was mad now. "I'm talking with Sora." he repeated. "I need to make up some things. IT CAN WAIT."  
  
Miyoko studied him for a moment, evidently affected by his outburst. "I hope you know what you're doing."  
  
"I know exactly what I'm doing. I'll see you later." Riku waved, expecting her to leave.  
  
"What was that about?" I asked him when she had gone. It seemed like Miyoko was talking about something more than a relationship.  
  
"It's...nothing. I'll go over it with her later." Riku turned back to me. "For now, I want to patch things up between us. And Kairi." For some reason it seemed like Kairi had been more or less of an afterthought. "So, am I forgiven, or will I spend the rest of my life wallowing in self-pity? It's completely your decision, Sora."  
  
I grinned. I wasn't at all good at holding grudges. Maybe it had something to do with my background here on the Destiny Islands. "Forget it." I assured him. "Let's just duel, okay? I wanna be ready for the next time you go wacko."  
  
Riku nodded. "The paopu tree, then? Race you."  
  
He started off, but I didn't move. It was just like old times, right? Then why did I still feel like something was missing? Why did I feel like...I hadn't told him everything?  
  
'Because you haven't.' a mental whisper echoed nastily through my mind. That was right, I hadn't told him about...  
  
"Sora?" Riku had stopped, returning to my side. "What's wrong?"  
  
I paused, wondering just how to express myself. Electricity buzzed along my skin as I felt the tips of his fingers graze my cheek. I looked up with a gasp. Riku looked embarrassed. "Erm...sorry...I...just..."  
  
Now was the time, if ever. "Riku...I think...I...love you. N-not like a childhood friend, but, like...something more." There. I said it. Now he could laugh at me, or, maybe...no, there was no way he could feel the same way. He was after Miyoko, right? But then, why did he touch me like that, so gentle, caring?  
  
"I love you, too, Sora."  
  
I looked up. There was no laughter in his sea-green eyes, no sign of ridicule. Riku didn't joke around about this kind of thing anyway. If he were lying I'd be really surprised...  
  
"I...tried to act like it was Kairi or Miyoko, because I wanted to look straight. I didn't want to be different." Riku explained. "That's why I won the race so long ago. I didn't want you to take what I said seriously and share a paopu with Kairi. I was hoping..."  
  
"Me too." I heard myself saying. "I was afraid you'd share the paopu and it'd be over."  
  
He laughed softly. "Ironic, isn't it? We always flattered Kairi by fighting over her."  
  
"She's going to be really disappointed." I joined in. "...If she finds out." I added, remembering the terms of our attraction.  
  
Riku looked thoughtful. "Well...if it's all the same to you, I don't really want to keep it a secret. I don't want to end up slinking around, trying to hide it all because it's socially incorrect." He looked back at me. "I mean, it's ultimately our decision, right?"  
  
I nodded. "You've got a point. Okay, so..." I tried to think of what to do next. It was still kind of awkward, even if we were close friends. We were seeing each other in a new light now, and it was after we both tried unsuccessfully to act like that feeling wasn't there.  
  
"We can focus on that later." Riku assured me. "Besides, it's not like we have to announce it or anything. Boyfriends and girlfriends don't typically do that."  
  
That thought intrigued me. I had lived on Destiny Islands since the day I was born, but Riku had lived somewhere else for a few years before coming here. I was completely ignorant of what any lovers typically did when around friends, other than picking up some general romance from the media. But Riku's earlier words reminded me that we didn't have to tell them. If they found out, fine, they found out. It was no position of theirs to keep us from being together, if we felt it was right.  
  
For a few minutes we sat on the beach, talking. It was mostly about the overwhelming relief we shared. Each of us had thought the other would reject them if they confessed. I could notice him now, how he looked, acted, without having to worry about him asking why I was staring. If he did, all I had to do was remind him that he was staring too, which would probably dissolve into another interesting round of conversation.  
  
And, quite suddenly, I found myself sitting with my head resting on his shoulder. I sat up quickly, feeling my face burn with embarrassment. Riku gave me a quizzical look, the kind of look that I'd never seen on him before. He started to ask something, but suddenly adopted an interested look. "I'll be right back. Don't you go anywhere." he told me, wagging a finger at me the way a mother might as she reprimands her child. I smiled, assuring him I had no intent to.  
  
Riku dove into the water, swimming quickly toward his personal island. It was never officially called that, but it was pretty clear in all the islanders' minds that it was Riku's estate: where he usually spent the day, or where he went if he was feeling particularly emotional. I watched him curiously, even though I had a pretty good idea what he was up to. Sure enough, when he returned (this time via jumping off the walkway to the island), he had a golden, star-shaped paopu fruit in one hand.  
  
"Wanna try it?" he asked. "Of course, so far no proof of the legend is true."  
  
"Let's be guinea pigs." I suggested. "I've never had one before. Have you?"  
  
"No."  
  
"Are you sure?"  
  
"Would I lie to you?" Riku put on his best look of innocence...which wasn't all that convincing, considering his personality.  
  
At first we were rather unsure of how exactly to go about eating the paopu fruit. I suggested breaking it in half, but Riku thought that defeated the entire purpose. Finally, with a few giggles here and there, we held it between us and munched from either side. The fruit had a strange, mild taste, something like a cross between a pear and a peach, with some cream mixed in. Maybe there was a banana tint, too.  
  
The paopu fruit wasn't very large, so it wasn't long before we were nearly finished. I could catch Riku's scent in spite of the overpowering smell of paopu fruit, and realized with a thrill of excitement that I was getting unusually close to him. He didn't move away when we were finished, and neither did I. For a moment we looked into each other's eyes, his aquamarine, my deep blue, both silently thanking the heavens for this moment. Then he moved in, slowly at first, and still a little awkward. His lips pressed gently against mine, sending a more intense wave of electricity flow to the ends of my hair. Riku's lips pressed against mine a little more firmly, growing more firm with every second as we gained confidence. I realized his arms were around my waist, and mine were around his neck. Riku's tongue pressed against my teeth, attempting to enter. It came as a surprise to me, for I was still ignorant of this kind of affection. But I trusted Riku, and granted him passage.  
  
It was a little while later that we pulled away. I was in awe. Riku was a great kisser! It went pretty well with his demeanor. 'I want more.' came a sudden thought. I couldn't quite put a finger on what exactly I wanted to be done to me, but whatever it was, I wanted Riku to do it.  
  
It was still hard to believe. So long ago I had had this crush that had done nothing but grow, and now I was sitting on that beach with, no longer a crush, but a love. And we had just come out of a passionate kiss.  
  
"Sora?"  
  
And Mom couldn't be a bit more horrible to me right now.  
  
"I have to go." I sighed, getting to my feet. "See you tomorrow."  
  
"Sure." Riku had gotten up to go also. "Bye. I love you."  
  
A smile flickered along my lips. "I love you too. No, really."  
  
"Believe me, I know." Riku waved, starting for his house.  
  
I took a moment to sigh, wondering what it would have been like if I had confessed earlier. Would Riku still have gone over to Maleficent? Would he still have given up to Ansem and the darkness? Would I have had to leave him behind the door to Kingdom Hearts? Would I still be forever reaching out to the hand that couldn't take mine?  
  
These thoughts, still bothering me when I headed inside and got into bed, vanished when I had the first dream of the night. There it was again, Riku in peril, and I beside him, reaching out to grasp his hand. I struggled so hard; why, I asked myself as I always did, did he not reach out in the same way? And, almost in answer to this unspoken question, I saw Riku bend, his arm stretching now, straining to reach mine. We made a simultaneous grab, both missing. Then I felt my hand sink into his. His fingers wrapped firmly around my hand as I maintained a similarly firm grip. I couldn't keep from grinning. I had finally managed to take the hand held out for me. "Come on, Riku, let's go." I told him, but my words seemed dry, drained.  
  
Riku's smile reassured me as I stopped, doubtful for a moment. But just as I was about to pull him away from the darkness, he pulled me in. I staggered against him. "R-Riku?"  
  
"We'll be okay, Sora." Riku told me, his head tilted downward so his eyes could meet mine. He was already holding me, so I clung to him, fearful of the darkness that had so nearly swallowed us both. "It's not dangerous anymore." Riku's voice dwindled into a whisper as the darkness enveloped us. My vision went black. I couldn't see Riku, hear him, feel him beside me anymore. I tried to call out his name, but my mouth was strangely restrained. I realized I couldn't see because my eyes were closed, and felt the fabric holding my lids shut. I was feeling sick, dizzy.it seemed like I had been fed something strange not long before. The last thing I remembered was that the floor was very hard.  
  
A/N: Yeah, I know it sux. Please don't flame though, alright? It's a first try. C'mon. Oh, and I was wonderin': is this considered shounen-ai or outright yaoi? I haven't been able ta find the difference yet. 


End file.
